It was not necessary. It would not have been missed. No one needed it for nourishment.
It actually took some time, perseverance, and focus to produce.
And time, perseverance, and focus were not things I had an abundance of that day – or any day in the recent past.
But I did it anyway.
I made a fruit pizza.
It was an act of defiance on my part.
Defiance:
1. a daring or bold resistance to authority or to any opposing force.
2. open disregard; contempt (often followed by of)
3. a challenge to meet in combat or in a contest.
What authority was I boldly resisting? A world system obsessed with all things fast and impersonal.
What opposing force did I dare confront? The one that squelches acts of beauty and hospitality and delight.
For what did I show open disregard and contempt? A store-bought, pre-packaged, out-of-season, mass-produced, ease-and-efficiency-at-all-cost dessert for guests.
What challenging battle did I show up for? The one that wages war on my soul trying to kill joy and hope with pressure and burden.
Who knew a fruit pizza could be so rebellious? Such an act of resistance?
But I could feel it as I beat eggs and sugar and rolled out a giant sugar cookie for its crust.
I don’t have time for this, but I’m weary of fast and impersonal.
It was with me as I waited for cream cheese to soften on the counter before whipping the icing.
It’s not foolish to create flavor and beauty for others to enjoy. Delighting in hospitality is obedience…even worship.
It welled up in my heart as I chose, washed, and carefully sliced a variety of brightly colored fruit.
I will not give in to utilitarianism. I will not be tyrannized by tasks.
It gave way to joy as I created an pretty, eye-catching pattern and anticipated blessing those who would eat it.
I will not be pressured into selfishness. I will continue to find pleasure in sacrifice and service.
Anyone who knows me very well knows that I am not a rebel in the classic sense at all. My kids occasionally ask what is the most rebellious thing I’ve ever done, and they are always disappointed with my answer.
But this culture? The incessant input from social media? The outrage and conflict? The voices and motivational speakers that encourage the selfish aspects of the “work/life balance” and “stepping into my own greatness” to the neglect of self sacrifice and serving the church and genuine relationships and hospitality?
Well, I’m trying to say no to those temptations.
It’s funny that even those who advocate for authenticity, hospitality, work/life balance and even the “slow-food movement” often advocate a strategic way of going about those things so as to maximize your own time and end goals.
I get that we have to have boundaries, because we certainly have limitations (and I am the worst about knowing mine), but I think the cultural directives err on selfishness with their exhortations of ease and convenience, efficiency and speed.
My fruit pizza was in defiance of all of those things.
And without any cognizance of my rebellion that day, my guests seemed pretty delighted by it!
P.S. I certainly don’t expect any fruit pizzas for dessert at your house – unless it will make you happy! And I’ll not judge your pre-packaged meal. I mean, I’ve bought my share of rotisserie chickens and Chipotle bowls in the last few months. I just needed an act of resistance that day. I hope you can relate!