Now I can say it: May is crazy.

Which is why it’s May 21 and I haven’t written anything since May 4. Recently, I heard someone describe it as the December of the spring, but I think it may be crazier than that holiday month, because there are so many different occasions rather than just one main celebration.

Graduations.

Baptisms.

Meetings.

Weddings.

Concerts.

Recitals.

End-of year dinners, brunches, awards, thank yous.

Family Reunions.

And more…

Kayla is now a high school graduate! She attended her last day of her Challenge IV program through Classical Conversations last week, and she didn’t just attend, but she also had to stand up and defend her senior thesis before a panel of pastors and professors – not to mention the large crowd of family, friends, and peers that gathered to watch. It was nerve-wracking to say the least, but she did a great job! I wish you could have been there. (A few of you were – thanks!) I think you would have been inspired by the six students who presented an overview of their thesis and then endured 15 minutes of questions – some of which were quite challenging.

When I got up that morning, I sat down to write Kayla a note. I wasn’t sure how to say exactly what I wanted to say, so I prayed and searched the Scriptures a bit, finally landing on these verses:

I sought the Lord, and He answered me,
And delivered me from all my fears.
They looked to Him and were radiant,
And their faces will never be ashamed.

Psalm 34:4-5

The cool thing was that I was also reading the book of Hebrews and had just read this passage:

And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power. 

Hebrews 1:3

Radiant: sending out light; shining or glowing brightly.

Radiance: light or heat as emitted or reflected by something.

Such a helpful way to view the divinity of Christ: He is the radiance of God’s glory, the exact representation of God’s nature.

Such an encouraging truth to believers: When we look to God in our fears, He takes away our shame and causes our countenance to brighten and shine because of His nearness and redemption, because of the freedom and forgiveness He’s given.

I wanted my girl to know that in spite of her fear and nervousness about standing and defending her thesis, the Lord would not only help her and deliver her, He would also cause her to shine because of Christ in her. And not only last Tuesday for her thesis defense, but that He radiates from her on a daily basis because of her salvation and faithfulness to walk with Him.

She probably won’t approve of this blog post, but I’m just so overjoyed by both her accomplishments and her character, so I’m taking some blogging-mothering liberties here. She’s a pretty amazing young woman.
Her girlfriends are pretty amazing too!

May was also radiant with Mother’s Day…

And Baptisms…

And Weddings…
And yes, radiant with green grass, and hills, and trees…finally!

We loved getting to be a part of Billy and Gina’s wedding, and are thrilled that they’ll be back to serve at UMass with Cru!

And Graduations…I loved watching Lizzie (and McKenna, Catherine, Sunnie, Megan, and Adriana) graduate from Smith College yesterday – and I will miss my time with Lizzie so much. Talk about a lively and passionate lunch, coffee, or small group conversations every time – that’s Lizzie. Such a joy!

We came home to these last Tuesday after Kayla’s thesis day and final day of her senior year…

It was sweet of Robert to celebrate us.

We went out for hamburgers together (because Kayla was off being social) and he asked me how I was feeling about being finished with homeschooling. I didn’t even know what to say, couldn’t even feel anything at all…until Wednesday morning.

Wednesday morning I slept until 8am (late for me!), got up, made some tea, and sat in my chair (didn’t even go for a run!) to read my Bible and pray, and that’s when the tears (sobs?) came. After a while I just couldn’t even read or pray due to the tears.

Across the room, I could see the Shutterfly photo books I made for Kory and Cooper when they graduated peeking out of a large basket of books, and decided (maybe even felt nudged by the Holy Spirit?) to just sit and look through them, remembering their childhood years. It only prompted more tears, but the process of reminiscing brought with it the grace and comfort of God. I think He knew it’s what I needed.

And while I am still up and down – grieving over the end of a season one day, rejoicing over my kids’ thriving lives outside of my home the next – for the most part, I feel radiant.

The radiant warmth of His presence. The radiance of His glory in the church and His people. A radiant face and heart in spite of the shame of any mothering/wife-ing failures. And the radiant hope of future joys – even though I know there will be future sorrows as well.

(Leaving soon for the radiant sun of Texas and a family reunion, too!)