Gatorade.

Brightly colored. Sugary. Contains electrolytes. Cheaper than Pedialyte.

I was giving it to Kory in a sippy cup when he was about eighteen months old while he recovered from a nasty stomach bug.  He did not complain at all. In fact, as you can imagine, he started asking for more.(It seems that all of my examples are about Kory. Maybe it’s because he was my first, and the learning-to-be-a-mother moments were so vivid as a result? Sorry, Kory.)

In no time at all, it was all he would drink. I tried switching him back to milk. I tried water. I tried watered-down versions of Gatorade in a weaning process, but he would have none of it. Straight Gatorade is all he would drink. At least it wasn’t technically Kool-Aid? Sigh…

While at the pediatrician’s office for a check-up, I explained this problem, this addiction my toddler had developed to Gatorade.

“Since his stomach virus, I can’t get him to drink anything but Gatorade,” I complained.

My older, wiser, seasoned pediatrician looked me straight in the eye and said, “You are the mom. He will drink what you give him. No child ever starved or died from dehydration when there was food and water in the house.”It may sound harsh to you, but it really wasn’t.  It was in the tone of a pep talk, and it was just the one I needed.

I was the mom.

I had forgotten that. Forgotten that I was the good authority in my child’s life, the one who knows what is best and has the ability to require it. Forgotten that to require healthy habits was actually the best and most loving thing I could do for my child.

It is stunning just how quickly a toddler can turn into a tyrant and overthrow all benevolent parental authority.

Milk or water became the only two options for drinks in our house that day, and guess what Kory started drinking in less than 24 hours?

That story doesn’t translate directly into what I wanted to write about today, but the principle is the same:

You are the mom. You know what is best for your child. So, besides drinking healthy beverages, what else do you think is best for them? What things do you want for them? When they are 6, 10, 12, 16, 18, what kind of character traits do you want to have cultivated in them? What skills do you want them to possess? What attitudes do you want them to embrace? What formative experiences do you want them to have? What knowledge do you want them to hold?The only person with any real vision for my life when I was a child was my grandfather. A former WWII pilot and navigator, he was Colonel A.A. Speier to the world.

He was Poppy to me.

And here’s how I know he had vision for my life. Here’s evidence that he believed in me, confirmation that he provided loving authority, proof that he expected great things from me but stemming from pride and not pressure.

He corrected my grammar.  “I think you mean ‘she and I’ went to the movie.”

He took me on road trips and made a game of finding license plates from other states and learning their capitals.

He spent a year or more planning a trip to Washington D.C. for the summer I was 15. Handwritten letters to congressmen for priority access to the Capitol Building, the White House, the FBI Building, and a one-on-one with a Texas Congressman.

He attended many of the football games I cheered at, Honor Society induction ceremonies, birthday parties.

He gave me meaningful and sometimes silly gifts.

He complimented me.

He asked me what I was learning in school and took me to museums.

He took me on lots of trips in his little Cessna airplane and demonstrated meticulousness in maintaining his plane and safety protocol. He even taught me a bit about flight and handed the controls over to me on occasion.

He helped send me to England for a couple of weeks after I graduated from high school.

When I had my first and second babies, he came to visit me, even when it meant driving over 500 miles.

I took it all for granted in my growing up years, and he died while I was pregnant with Kayla. The loss of his loving guidance and commitment to me still causes me sorrow.The vision he had for me to be educated, to see the world, to value hard work, to be a wife and mom and so much more affected me greatly. That someone cared enough to cultivate and steward my life made all the difference in me, especially since his own daughter, my mom, was incapable.

So, maybe sit down for a while (naptime? after bedtime? on a date night? early morning in a cafe?) and brainstorm about your own children’s lives. Hopefully, it goes without saying that prayer would be first on your agenda. Ask the Lord for some vision, for His vision for your kiddos. I believe He is honored by that type of prayer. He’s given you a gift in your child. How much more will He want to give you help and insight into raising them? Ask Him for creativity. Ask Him for direction. Ask Him on behalf of each individual child. Ask Him on behalf of your children together. Write down the things He brings to mind.Maybe brainstorm according to season…

Infant/Toddler Years

Preschool Years

Ages 6-12/Elementary School Years

Ages 13-18/High School Years

These statistics might help you create a vision for the early years. Lots of books. Lots of talking. Lots of reading. Lots of playing. One thing I loved doing was getting Scripture into their minds and hearts during those years, too. I’m sure there are many more amazing resources for that now, but we used these.

Here’s a life skill list for ages 2-18 that also might get you thinking.

And how about this Bible Handling Goals list for 5-8 year olds.

I love Desiring God’s Fighter Verses for kids, too.

And my friend Amy recently told me about these. I want a set for my 48 year old self!

Regarding pre-teen years, many of you know we gave our kids a list of challenges to complete. See here, here and here. Definitely not original to us, we followed the example of good friends of ours, the Baglow family, as well as insight from the books Raising a Modern Day Knight and Princess.

Vision:

an anchor

a framework

a map to the destination

Ask the Lord to grant you vision for your kids. It’s within your loving expectations for them that they will thrive and grow.

Don’t let them settle for Gatorade.

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Tomorrow: Resting in grace as you go…and a giveaway.

(And if not tomorrow, then Saturday! We’re headed to Gordon College overnight to celebrate Cooper’s 21st birthday and do Kayla’s official campus visit and tour in the morning!)