Her words struck me intensely this time, though I’ve read them many times before.

“Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.”

(Luke 1:38)

What a response. What beautiful surrender. What a quiet humility.

What fierce faith.

And displayed in the midst of a situation seemingly impossible, certainly unfair, inherently burdensome, most likely humiliating, and definitely outlandish.

I wrote her words on a post-it note in October and stuck it on the cover of my Bible. I was facing that small cancer scare, several fast approaching deadlines, a conflict and misunderstanding, and lots of physical and emotional needs around me. It eventually made its way to my kitchen window, became my go-to prayer, and I even made efforts to repeat Mary’s exact words over and over with every new challenge and opportunity.

I am your servant, Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word.

November brought the opportunity to speak at a collegiate conference – to every woman in attendance. The topic assigned to me was female identity/biblical womanhood. If you know me at all, you know it’s something I absolutely love to study and talk about, but controversy both ignites and intimidates me, and it’s not a popular topic these days. Actually, maybe it’s not controversial at all anymore, because the culture insists on its absolute ridiculousness and irrelevancy. But I don’t like being laughed at either.

Since Mary’s words to the angel were a constant refrain in my heart, I couldn’t help but think about her in light of this speaking engagement. I wanted the collegiate women to see Mary as a woman called upon by God to do the impossible, the unfair, the burdensome, the humiliating, and the outlandish. How did she feel about being created a woman when this situation arose? How were these young women going to receive what I had to say?

Though they look a little different in each individual woman, Helping and Lifegiving are inherent in the God-designed female identity. They are beautiful to Him. He created them to be deeply meaningful and serve a monumental purpose: adorning His gospel.

Men were not created from the side of a person to help and complement.

They were not designed with the equipment to bear and nourish children.

They are not asked to be subject to church and family leadership, they are asked to provide it.

It all seems unfair, unjust, and downright outlandish to many – especially to those who’ve suffered at the hands of men.

But God provides no caveats, and so we must report the assault, we must flee from the abuse, we must confront the impropriety, and we may even divorce the adulterer, but we musn’t throw out the baby with the bathwater…or the biblical pattern with the disorder of the world. Oh, I know these things are more easily said than done, but the design and the commands of God still stand. His order is still best.

I loved telling those young women how beautiful and inherently valuable they were, because they are image bearers of God Himself. I delighted in showing them their equality with men – equality in worth, dignity, intellect, capabilities, skills, passions. I even relished the chance to explain the glory of the differing role they’ve been given in relation to men knowing some would be angry at the very suggestion. I urged them to consider Mary’s response to something difficult to accept or understand and to have her same attitude.

Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.

This week’s Advent candle is the Bethlehem candle. The candle of faith. It is meant to remind us of Mary’s and Joseph’s journey to Bethlehem, but also the journey of faith it was for them to embrace the plan of Incarnation God was bringing about.

Biblical womanhood takes great faith…and strength. I think Mary knew that and embraced it.

And what about the Incarnation?

Didn’t God require something of Jesus similar to that of Mary?

Leave your home, submit to limitations, be subject to criticism and misunderstanding. Endure suspicion, pain, and betrayal.

Equal with the Father, why submit to this unfair, burdensome, humiliating, outlandish plan?

Being the savior required great faith and strength. Jesus knew it and embraced it.

And not only that, but He also chose it. It was His choosing that makes Him the ultimate example of humility and submission.

We read the following verses in my small group a couple of weeks ago.  It’s an all women’s study on the theology of femininity, and we were looking at the helper-completer aspect of created female identity.

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Philippians 2: 5-7

There’s that word again…bondservant. Jesus took the identity of a servant?

It’s one of the English words used to translate the Greek word δοῦλος – or doulos, meaning servant or slave – found both in Mary’s response to the angel and in Paul’s description of Jesus.

Both mother and son chose submission to the Father.  It was not fair or easy or dignified. It was maybe even a little crazy, but it was rich with meaning and purpose.

Recently, a dear young friend of mine asked me a few questions about the whole female submission thing. Full of passion, but with an extremely respectful, humble, and teachable demeanor, she asked me, “Why do you do it? Why do you agree with this? Why do you embrace this role? Wouldn’t the world be better off if women were in charge?”

Good questions. I think it may have helped her when I confessed to struggling with those same passionate protests as currently as that very week…

Hello, marriage…

Hello, ministry…

Hello navigating male friendships and colleagues…

Hello, parenting…

…but I’m not throwing the baby out with the bathwater. As difficult as the role play can be, I choose to participate and not protest, because the design of God is still beautiful to me.

I am His daughter. Whatever His Word says. May that be done to me. May it be done in me.

So, why do I do it…embrace it…teach it…ask for daily grace to live it?

Because of Mary.

Because of Jesus.

Because my willing participation in the design of God (though very messy) somehow adorns the gospel of God and puts on display (though very imperfectly) the relationship between Christ and His church.

It’s a humiliation that leads to glorification, and I want to be a part of that.

May God grant me (and you) the fierce faith of Mary this Advent season. When the unfair, burdensome, humiliating, and outlandish challenges and opportunities come our way, may we say with her…

“Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.”

(Luke 1:38)

(Oh! And I happened to listen to a podcast that greatly encouraged me and seemed so timely in light of my attention to Mary’s words lately. Here is is. It’s called “Dazed and Confused” by Dan Allender, and it’s about Advent.)

---

A special request…

A young, unmarried woman and new friend of mine discovered she was pregnant with twins this summer. She was scared and overwhelmed and planned to abort them. Some mutual friends encouraged her to to consider the real lives growing inside of her and to reconsider ending those lives. They took her to the local crisis pregnancy center where she learned more about those tiny babies and the resources available to her if she were to keep them. A childless couple in my community even offered to adopt the babies no matter what, paying all expenses along the way.

In the end, she very courageously decided to keep them and to raise them herself. I talked to her on Sunday – her first time to church – and told her how brave I think she is. Though she does not know much of God yet, hers is a choice by faith in many ways.

She is set to deliver in the next couple of weeks, she could really use our help right now.

MANY of you have already responded with tremendous generosity, because you’ve seen my post on a church message board or on Facebook, but I also wanted to give those of you I only know here on the blog an opportunity to support this mom’s choice to give life.

Here is the link to an Amazon registry we had her create. If you order from here, the item will be shipped directly to her, and no gift is too small.

Click here to see the registry.

I know some of you would prefer anonymity, but I’d really love to know if you do choose to send something her way. I want to be able to tell her someday about your own life of faith and the reason behind your generosity. So, if you’re willing, leave a comment here or send me an email or text letting me know.

A GIGANTIC thank you to those who’ve already given. Watching the great outpouring of God on her behalf has been the highlight of the season for me so far.