Unhealthy Habits:
Perfectionism, Self-Sufficiency, Pride, Lack of trust, Failure to observe Sabbath Rest, Worry, Making Choices out of Fear, Desire to Control, Misunderstanding Grace, Too Much Time on the Treadmill of Performance, Running the Marathon of Life at a Sprint…..etc.

Related Symptoms:
Fatigue, Weariness, Depression, Despair, Fantastical Thoughts of Escape, Loss of Joy, Numbness, Tears…..

Diagnosis:
Petered-Out Perfectionistic Pastor’s Wife Pneumonia 🙂

Prescription:
1 loving husband to provide, protect, and, create a new balance
1 Beth Moore Bible Study on Galations – Living Beyond Yourself
3 timely books full of wisdom: Nice Girls Don’t Change the World by Lynne Hybels,
The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning, The Pressure’s Off by Larry Crabb
Time to read and pray and sleep
Lots of Sandra McCracken and Derek Webb Music on repeat (Thanks to Romy’s raves)
Cessation of all appointments and extra-curriculars for 6 weeks
Hiking, running, coffee dates, dinners out, movies, and concerts with transformed husband full of sacrificial love and service (not that he wasn’t before – just times 100 now!)

Thank you so much for your prayers and your ears and your emails. This seemed the best way for me to describe my current battle. I know you’ve been there too.

A few things I’ve been listening to:

He loves through every changing scene,
Nor aught from Him can Zion wean;
Not all the wanderings of her heart
Can make His love for her depart.

Love cannot from its post withdraw;
Nor death, nor hell, nor sin, nor law,
Can turn the Surety’s heart away;
He’ll love His own to endless day.
by William Gadsby

Rock of Ages
by Sandra McCracken

Rock of Ages, when the day seems long
From this labor and this heartache I have come
The skies will wear out, but You remain the same
Rock of Ages, I praise Your name.

Rock of Ages, You have brought me near
You have poured out Your life-blood, Your love, Your tears
To make this stone heart come alive again
Rock of Ages, forgive my sin

Rock of Ages, Rock of Ages
Bind your children til’ your kingdom comes
Rock of Ages, Your will be done

Rock of Ages, when in want or rest
My desperate need for such a Savior I confess
Pull these idols out from my heart embrace
Rock of Ages, I need Your grace

Rock of Ages, broken, scorned for me
Who am I that You would die to make me free?
To give me glory, You took the death and pain
Rock of Ages, my offering

Rock of Ages, “It is done,” You cried
The curtain’s torn and I see justice satisfied
Now write Your mercy here on my heart and hands
Rock of Ages, in faith I stand

Rock of Ages, my great hope secure
Your promise holds just like an anchor to my soul
Bind your children with cords of love and grace
Rock of Ages, we give You praise